Family Conversations - Awkward

Awkward is kind of the theme of this post, awkward behavior in dating and short, awkward conversations that empower awkward questions and further awkward conversations. I was listening to an episode of "The Culture Translator" podcast and it brought up several really good conversations for you to have with your students. It also brought about something about how to talk to your kids about awkward and challenging issues that I want to spend just a minute considering with you. 

Who should I date and what kind of behavior should I tolerate from someone I date?

This conversation was inspirited by the podcast which was inspired by the top song on Spotify right now, "Please, Please, Please." Before you listen, know that there is explicit language, it uses, m*****f***** several times. You don't have to listen to the song and you certainly don't have to let your kid listen to it to have a conversation about the topic. But know, this song will be trending on both Apple and Spotify and on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. It is very popular right now and parts of it play well in the short form video format that is so popular right now. The song is about a young woman who is embarrassed by her boyfriend. One of the lines sings, "I have a fun idea, babe, maybe just stay inside, I know you're craving some fresh air, but the ceiling fan is so nice, it's so nice right?"

Dating is something most students are at least semi-conscious of, most of them will get married at some point and it is the primary path to get there. Even if they think it's dumb or gross (and you should praise-the-Lord if that is where they are); even then it is still a topic circling their minds and their social circles. It's important to talk about what it looks like to date well. Back to the song, I feel like guy embarrass their girlfriends/wives more often than the inverse happens, though I won't speak for every man out there. Some embarrassing behaviors are more serious than others, some are just a guy having fun, others are serious red flags. Take an opportunity to talk about compatibility and things you looked for in your husband or wife and things they might want to look for, more than just being a Christian, which though most important, is not the only thing that matters. 

Quantity Matters in Conversation

Another thing they were talking about that I thought was interesting was a conversation about the age verification laws being put onto porn websites by states. You need to be paying attention to this, but not depending on this to protect your kids, this will always be too easy to get around. But they brought up something that I liked. Healthy conversations about sex, sexual identity, gender, dating, etc... are not best done with one, 100 minute conversation, but rather hundreds of one minute conversations. Lots of little conversations can be very impactful in your relationship with your kids and on major issues that are awkward and challenging to discuss. This should be a topic that comes up often enough in our families that it becomes less awkward for students to ask their parents questions and talk to their parents about these issues. Something to think about. 

This doesn't mean that some longer, carefully crafted talks are not necessary. What it means is that if awkward and challenging topics are a routine part of your dialogue with your kids, they are going to become more and more comfortable talking to you about these things. I think it will even increase the likelihood that they will be comfortable asking you awkward and challenging questions. If you have modeled a pattern of bringing these topics up even in just short one-minute conversations, they will be more likely to ask the awkward question when they see or hear something that inspires them to consider the topic. They will know that you don't mind giving your thoughts on it without necessarily digging a trench into the topic for hours at a time. 

I would encourage you to consider this even on the flip-side, the positive conversations. If you're reading you Bible and something occurs to you or a question comes to you, ask your kids or talk to them about what your thinking. You don't have to make a production out of it every time and even if you aren't sure of the answer that in and of itself will teach your kids to ask questions and to talk about what they're thinking on spiritual topics. If you through out a question you are working through and later find the answer bring it back up and talk about how you found the answer. Again, the conversations don't need to be Bible studies. These are weather conversations. Just something that happens in passing. 

Lots of little conversations can be very impactful in your relationship with your kids and on major issues that are awkward and challenging to discuss. 

Check out the Culture Translator Podcast from June 21st. You can listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.